What would I do if I didn’t know any better?

Clueless!

I want to be clueless.

Awareness sucks. What good is to know what come after what’s next? I want to ignore it, but I can’t, so I see and observe clueless people going through life with a huge grin on their face, and . . . it doesn’t face them, they are clueless about the consequences as well, and when the clues hit the fan, the negative part doesn’t last long, and the grin comes back. YES, I want to live that way.

So, now instead of preparing for my meeting, I am just going to wing it on intuition. The deal feels right for some reason, although the anal-isys says that it is not big enough and there are a few more drawbacks. But, and here’s the rub, if I didn’t know any better, what would I do? I would go for it!

And that’s my line.

The same with my job meeting which I have now pushed to Monday.

So here I am, doing some work, but not much, exchanging email with friends, and somehow a freind of mine tels me about her experiences while in the Caribbeans at a Hedonistic resort, quite interesting story, which leads me to checking out the science behind Hedonism, and then to get from Amazon

The Hedonism Handbook: Mastering the Lost Arts of Leisure and Pleasure, it will be fun, I am sure I’ll post more about it once I read the book.

So here I am, in a new frame of mind, and – if you didn’t realize it yet, the new frame is: What wouild I do if I didn’t know any better?

One day I’ll write a book on the matter, till then . . . there’s this blog.

Looking forward to it!

The art of WHY?

I just came back from running at the beach, in the rain!

My jogging partner cancelled on me because of the rain, and I told myself JUST FUCKING DO IT!

It was amazing! And while I was running I could not help but think about the movie Million Dollar Baby where there’s a sign in the gym that says:

WINNERS
ARE
WILLING
TO DO
WHAT
LOSERS
WON’T !

Let’s keep a perspective in mind, it’s not about my friend being a loser, or anyone else for that matter, it’s about winning the inner game, the same game of Michal Jordan, the game with self, turning the inner self, that chatter into an ally turning the 1-1=0 into a 1+1=2.

So there I was, running, feeling the breeze, all by myself, talking to myself, meditating, thinking about this blog, business, life, art and the mind wonders. And then, from thinking about Winners are willing to do what losers won’t my mind goes to think about something I was reading yesterday, a blog post from Shoemoney.com about hiring employees, finding freelancers and partners. At one point he apologizes or something, but he shouldn’t! Innovative 21st century, new media based entrepreneurship shall not have employees. In today’s enterprises there are core functions and non-core functions. The non-core functions can be:

1. Eliminated
2. Automated with non-people tools such as software, self-service, or non-people services
3. Streamlined into processes and outsourced to freelancers

The CORE functions instead MUST be owned by a tight group of people who can work smart and hard, playing an internal game and kicking everyone else’s butt, so that instead of an hourly wage, or a salary, they can share either:

1. Payment for agreed upon results, regardless of how long it took
2. Share a piece of the pie, as in sharing in the profits generated and/or the sale of the company
3. BOTH.

Keep in mind that the blueprints for such strategy were laid out back in 1995 by Geoffrey A. Moore of Moore’s Law fame in his book Inside the Tornado: Strategies for Developing, Leveraging and Surviving Hypergrowth Markets:

But wait, there’s more! While we can’t give away a set of 12 knives, we can add another book that came to mind and I was running on the soft sand at low tide, right next to the waves, a book which I particularly not care about much, but I find myself thinking about if often Execution: the disciple of getting things done:

In Execution, Larry Bossidy and Ram Charan talk about hiring, and they highlight a mistake that happens in many hiring, where people hire people exactly like themselves. Larry and Ram talk about the blue suit syndrome, where you have a closet full of blue suits, and decide you need a new suit. You go to the store and after trying a number of suits in style and color, you walk out with yet another blue suit.

I don’t think it is a mistake, especially if you have a blue suit personality, persona, image or fetish.

But let’s not talk about blue suited corporate America, too reminiscent of BS, too easy to pick on. Let’s talk about Rap. If you watch any videos showcasing today’s rappers, either the top names or the wanna be’s you’ll find that they all wear clothing from a handful of brands. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy, either the top rappers get some consideration for showcasing certain brands, or they make a statement by wearing and endorsing an unknown (in that culture) brand; and the wanna be’s follow, so do everyone else in the middle.

And when a rapper needs a new T or a new hat he doesn’t go to Men’s Wearhouse regardless of the guarantee You’re gonna love the way you look, they are going to the usual providers of those handful of brands and the self fulfilling phrophecy continues.

And it MUST be that way.

I am an result-oriented, no-nonsense guy, either as an employee or a consultant, I deliver what was agreed upon, according to the timelines agreed upon, and I expect to get paid (better if its’ in advance). Now that I al flying solo, I don’t want an employee who is looking for a place where to park his/her ass, and start the meter to get paid no matter what. With that paradigm, not delivering results, or delivering them late, or partially, or making mistakes, earns them more money, it creates a win-lose situation, where they win, and I lose.

Am I bitter? I have had past bad experience with some of my employees, and again, being a no-nonsense type of guy, and knowing too much about how to do things, I am looking for people who are used to find how to do something better, faster, cheaper and more efficiently so that if they get paid by results they actually will get paid MORE than if they were paid by the hours. In my mind it makes sense, so much sense, and if it doesn’t to someone . . . . well we do not have the same philosophy, and we ought not to hang out together in a business setting, and NO I am not going to hire you, sorry.

So are you tired of working for someone else? Are you one of those people who are labeled “company man” or “company woman” who often puts the interest of the company ahead of your own? I have bought with my own money my first laptop in 1993 because my company would not buy me one! As recent a a couple of years ago a company I was working for would not buy me a personal laser printer, so I bought my own; and when they broke it during a move, the CEO refused to reimburse me. So if you are bright, smart, creative, with solid business – internet – marketing skills, someone who knows so much that understand that there’s always a lot more to know, an old dog always interested in learning new tricks, contact me via this blog (comments), and let’s make something BIG happen.

I don’t get it

I am the master of the how-to, trust me on this.

You can even challenge me, you’ll be surprised of the stuff that I know or that I can do, from sophisticated option trading, to IT stuff, coding, photography, SEO, SEM, cooking . . . and – best of all – if I don’t know or if I can’t do it, I will tell you right away “I don’t know”.  BONUS:  If I know I can figure it out, I will let you know.

I have set my mind to do a lot of things in my life, and I was ridiculed and laugh at when I started.  Once I achieved them, the same people diminished my accomplishments, they didn’t say “I was wrong” or “Congratulations”; and that is what I wanted to hear; because as I was down working my ass off, on my way to achieve those things, a big part of my motivation was to prove them wrong.  Which leads me to a big 2-step problem:

1. I am externally motivated:  I need to please people, and I need to have people validate my efforts and value.  I know it’s bad, I am working on it.
2. As of now, I have achieved everything I had set myself to achieve.  And to me it is not enough.  I shoot for the moon, and there I am.  I should have aimed for the sun, or Andromeda, or to discover alien life in the far far galaxies, the trajectory would have propelled me a lot further.

So, I look outside for bread crums, for guidance, for a HOW-TO book to achieve my dreams and goals, I’ve got everything there is to be needed:

1. Money
2. Contacts
3. Time
4. Knowledge
5. Education
6. Experience
7. Health
8. Logistics

And yet, I tell myself that I don’t have enough money, time, experience, you name it, and when someone tells me so, I listen to them.  Not good.

And then, the part that I don’t get it, is when I see people who have less then me sell other people into believing that they are gurus. How can they look at themselves in the mirror, and how can these people believe that BS.  Take for instance Lilou, watch her video I have a Dream.  What’s up with that?  She tells us all about what she wants, she shows us her cleavage (I’ve seen better), her fuck-me-red lipstick and her curves in a way that if a guy were to look at her that way in an office he would be fired for sexual harassment.  Hello?  And of course she’s way off target, TV is dead, long live You Tube and the internet TV.  Lilou, what have you got to offer?  You want to motivate me?  What are you doing?  You are the internet equivalent of a beggar: give me, give me, do this for me.  Why?  What have you to offer me?  Take the audio off your video, and remove the words, it looks like a promo video for an escort service.  Do you offer GFE?

And of course, birds of feather flock together: Sandy Grason’s cleavage is even better.  And I have to say, that Sandy does offer something: her journaling philosophy.  You night not agree with her, you might not like it or her, but she’s making an effort to offer something.  And like everything else in life or business, she’s offering an idea, a primer for anyone to make it their own, personalize it, to fit who they really are and take the benefits that one seeks and deserves.  In a way this blog is my own version of Sandy’s journalizing thing.  Maybe! Since I have not read her site, I have only watched a couple of her video, and I was surely distracted by her cleavage.

YES I confess, I have fantasized about a 3 some with Sandy and Lilou, I’m a guy, and you show me your goods, what am I to do?  Chant like a monk?  Or let the monkey go free?  LMAO.

No Plan

So last night I didn’t write down any plan for today.  Of course I could go on and on with the WHYs and all, but either you look at them as justification, excuses, or pure BS, the result remains: I made a promise to myself, and I didn’t deliver to myself.

Why does it matter?  It does.  Michael Jordan became Michael Jordan by being accountable to his self.   You don’t need a coach, your other self can be your coach, your other self knows you better than anyone else, and you know him as well, he can be an ass of a drill sergeant, or he can cut you a bit of slack and taking you out for a beer when you need to.

So lats night I fell asleep after watching The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch, a great show that I try to watch every day.  Last night the great topic was how to pick up the pieces and learn from failures, very inspirational.  That’s one of the area that I need to work on, after disappointing results, I beat myself up, and I retreat into my own cave, cutting out contact with the world. Probably shame.

Donny’s site has a Playbook for Success, which is a MUST watch/read for everyone, including yours truly.

Is it working?

Is this blog working?

Is shouting to the world those deep thoughts that I am constantly trying to suppress work?  You bet!

Don’t smile, don’t call me a loser!  You yourself have these and probably even worst thoughts.  Do you ignore them?  Suppress them?  Pretend they don’t exist?  Bury them?  Even hidden they poison your mind, they bore wholes into your happiness, your persona, and your personality.  They foster germs and thought viruses that will weaken your strenght.

Get rid of them, get the energy out, blog it, scream it to the entire world, it’s energy that HAS to come out somehow, it’s the other you inside you than needs to come out and be appeased.  Some people drink, some people smoke or do drugs, some people gamble, some people overeat or overspent, they are all symptoms of deeper issues that need to have their own outlet to be addressed and satisfied.

Beware of who you are, deep down inside. The other self can be your enemy, you can listen to hi or her, address the needs in a supportive manner and make it your ally.  Fighting him/her detracts your energies, an alliance increases your strenghts.

1 – 1 = 0

1 + 1 = 2

Your choice!

Confidence vs. Stupidity

So I am watching TV in the background, and there’s “Deal or no Deal”.  What a show!

Delusional people who try to defy statistics and science not even with hope, but with plain old BS.  And yet I am a bit jealous of them.  I am not saying give up hope and be negative, I am saying that:

1. There are better strategies for making money than a no-skill show
2. A simple intro to statistics would help people better understand the game and make better choices.

But that’s just my left brain talking.  My right brain does believe that it’s only a game, and a game only, for the amusement of both participants and public alike.

Life is a TV show, and everyone is either watching or sleeping.  What are you doing?

TOO MUCH

When I was poor (not that I am rich now), I had nothing, at times it appeared I had less than nothing.
Now that I can have anything I want to develop my business and professional persona (within limit) I have too much, and I waste it with no sense and purpose, just an excuse to have it because I need it.  Clear symptoms of too much short term tactic and not enough long term strategy.

Intuition.  Now that would be a great addition to the mix.

Vision: got that, at least I used to have it.  It seems that the further I go toward my goal, my insecurities make my vision less and less clear, fuzzy.

But that is in line with my issue: excellent starts and then progressively slowing down, instead of an acceleration from the start.

I can do a lot, I have vast knowledge and practical know how, i cannot find the self esteem to put it all together toward a well constructed vision to make it all mine, and to see it trough.

But it’s coming, slowly but surely it’s coming.

No more excuses of yet another book, another tool, another day, some more money, contact. I’ve got it all.  I only need to dig deep inside me, accept me for who and what I am, love me for it, mastering my own self, void of any shame or guilt, and then, and only then, I can have it in me, I can own it, that I indeed deserve to see my dreams, the ones I have been working so hard and so long to prepare for, that I have come so far and so high, to have them realized in front of my eyes, for the universe to enjoy, because what we produce is indeed bigger than we are.

Why the title: “Climbing Up the tree . . .”

I analyze anything and everything.  Very interesting, for the first time in my life, right now I realized that “analyze” starts with “anal”, yikes!

For way too long in my life I have been a left brainiac, everything happens for a reason, cause -> effect rules the world.  Rationality is the standard, and anything else is just plain stupid.  Then I realized that rationality is a very small minority of the drivers of everything, of how the world spins, and how people behave.  So, following the anal-ysis process I have observed, read, studied, tried, experimented, researched, experimented, whatever I could get my hands and brain on, looking into everyone’s motivations and rationale for things and actions.  I thought it was like peeling a gargantuan onion, and each layer exposed a new layer, more complex, more irrational.  But then I realized that it is not an onion: its a pyramid!  And one has to climb the slippery road up the pyramid, past the clouds, to find out what really behind the motivation and the (ir)rationality.  But it is not a pyramid, too rational, too left brain.  It’s like a tree, with multiple branches going all over the place, up and down and traverse, touching each other, being pruned, and interrupted here and there.  And each time when we look at things, the world, people, individuals, it comes back to . . .  us.  Us as individuals, because there’s no truth, there’s no reality, there’s only our interpretation of truth, and our subjective experience of reality (more on this in subsequent posts).

Therefore YES, all this CRAP is only my reality, which I make.  And it is real, and NOW I KNOW that not only it can change, it will change. I can bend reality to fit my experience, what my dreams are made of.

So, this is my take, and your takeaway: what you say about something or someone, it’s all about you! It says a lot about you: look into it, climb up that tree, it leads to places you might be tempted to leave alone, to see things that you might not like, but FEAR is a natural occurrence, the secret is in conquering the fear, taming that beast, and unleash the true self: YOU are beautiful!

MAKING A PLAN

I can make the best plans.

As long as they are not for me.

And if I have to, I can make the best plans for me as well.  I just don’t follow through.

How many times I have set to make at least a daily plan, tonight before going to sleep, I need to write down my action plan for tomorrow, as well as my strategy for the Job and the Company to buy.  I keep procrastinating, I keep finding stuff to do, busy work, non sense.

And here’s where a coach, alas a virtual coach comes into place: will I make a daily plan tonight for tomorrow? Will I wake up with a clear vision of what my day will look like, and what the outcome of my two meeting (the job one and the company one) will be?

Tomorrow is D-DAY to see if this post will work.  The intention is there, I can see it, I can savor the satisfaction of a well laid out plan, and a well executed one, reaching my predetermined goals.

Till tomorrow.

ACTION!

So today I have procrastinated a pretty important meeting about a new job.

I had it all prepared to day to read material, be prepared, email a few questions, prepare a proposal and set-up a new meeting to discuss details about the job (a freelance job) as well as compensation etc.

My negative attitude believes that:

1. The company does not have enough money to pay me; which, of course, might or might not be true, but I really do NOT know it.
2. I can’t do the job; which is also untrue, the company actually found me.

Talking to a friend I have already prepared the self-sabotage with crap about the money issue and the job per se issue.  Not good.  I recognize it myself.

Then there’s tomorrow’s meeting.  It’s about another project, which I dealt with a few months ago.  It’s about buying a small internet company.  Small but good one.  I have negotiated with the owners a few months ago and we did not agree on the pricing, so we let off, and actually advised them (again for FREE), on ways to sell the business.  Now they have turned around and called ME, they called me, to re-open discussions about the sale.  They already know my offer, which is a fair market price offer, yet far off by a wide margin from their expectations.  But I can offer intangibles that make my offer very alluring in a non-monetary way.

I am good.

Yet, I am – once again – self sabotaging myself, I have not prepared anything for tomorrow, and I have a morning full of stuff to do.

And DOUBT is setting in: should I go for it? Should I not?
And every single thought is a negative one: if I buy the company it will not be good, because it is not big enough and good enough for me and it will require too much of my time with not enough money  . . .  and if I don’t buy it I will regret it for the rest of my life and bla bla bla bla . . .

No action and too much doubt.  Consequences of knowing too much, and analyzing too much.

FUCK!